I’m an author — yes, smut does count — and I’ve become so much more productive since I began following Hemingway’s advice and started writing every morning. I used to churn out a story whenever I happened to feel horny enough, but now I’ve got a schedule: I start straight after breakfast, without waiting for inspiration or the right mood to come to me.
I don’t even change out of my pyjamas. I grab my laptop, sit in the natural light pouring through the patio doors, and just write, one word at a time. I start with a keyword, and everything flows from there.
One of my neighbours across the street has his own routine. He sits at his bedroom window, phone in one hand, binoculars in the other, and watches me.
This morning I want to write a gangbang story. Those are always tricky, because there are a lot of people to keep track of, a lot of penises jockeying for position, a lot of holes being used and noises being made and jizz flying about or leaking out, but the trick is to not let the challenge intimidate you and just start writing.
So I write ‘gangbang’ in the search bar of Pornhub. Then I swivel round to lean against the glass and put the laptop on the floor beside my knees, because my neighbour has a routine too.
Pornhub doesn’t disappoint me: there’s a wide selection of inspiration to choose from, a real smorgasbord of smut. It is mostly gangbangs, but there’s a smattering of bukkake and gloryhole sessions in the search results.
As I scroll slowly through the thumbnails, my WhatsApp tab pings. I’ve got a message in the ‘Morning writer chat’ group.
> that one
There are only two of us in the group. When I first noticed my neighbour was watching me work — that was before he bought binoculars — I found him in the Allenbrooke Street group and invited him to join my group. He did, and immediately sent a dick pic.
I set out two rules for our little group. First, he can offer his opinions on my choices before I select a video, but after that, chat is for suggestions and appreciative comments only. Second, and most importantly, no dick pics unless I ask for them. I don’t ask for them. I’ve already seen his once, and I haven’t felt the need for an update.
I point at the thumbnail I’m guessing he meant.
> yeah that
No. I’m bored of cheerleaders. And BBC.
I’m on page three before I see something I like, and point at it.
> gross
That’s the one, then.
It is not gross! And more importantly, ‘nerdy girl gangbanged by old men in bowling alley’ could be a *story*. Why is nerdy girl doing this? Who are the old men? What the hell kind of bowling alley is it that holds gangbangs? And who’s cleaning up afterwards?
> i dont care
I do. She’s lost a bet, I think, with the old man who owns the place. She bet more than she could afford to lose because she knows how good she is. But he cheated, she lost, and now she can’t afford to pay. So he offered her a deal.
> fuck all my sad mates
Exactly. So she’s stayed behind after the place closed. She’s apprehensive, and a bit grossed out now she's seen his friends, but she’s excited because a gangbang is her filthiest fantasy.
> dirty bitch
Me, or her?
> both
I can’t argue with that.
And the janitor could be her boyfriend? Yes! Now he not only has to work late while his boss is getting laid, he has to watch his girl get used by six fat slobs, knowing he’ll be mopping up their jizz later.
> cuck
But he isn’t, not at the start. That's the beauty of it. He hates what he’s seeing, because he loves his girl. But he does love his girl, so when he sees how much she’s enjoying it, he gets turned on. He’ll be mopping up his own jizz by the end.
> go then
Magic word?
> please
I press play. Nerdy girl is sitting fully clothed on a gym mat, which is comfortable for her, I suppose, especially if she’s going to get railed, but gym mats aren’t a feature of any bowling alley I’ve ever visited. I’ll write it out of the story: the cold, polished wood of a lane offers more interesting possibilities for sensation.
She’s smiling as the men crowd around her, pawing at her while they help her out of her hoodie. The fattest man started naked, which seems a bit awkward as he’s the only one, but she is eager to join him, raising her arms so he can take her vest off.
I don’t have anyone to take mine off, but I have been undressing myself for quite a few years, so I manage on my own.
> wish yuod turn roudn
He says that every time. Only the typos change.
Nerdy girl is flat on her back now, two men fumbling her bra off to reveal breasts which would look better if she was still sitting up. I am sitting up. I don’t think my neighbour can see my reflection in the screen, but if he can, I deserve to be seen at my best.
The two old guys behind nerdy girl are ignoring her breasts in favour of pinning her arms down. That could work, but it blurs the line between reluctant and non-consensual, and I’m not comfortable with that. Rough is okay though, so I’ll have them squeeze her breasts, hard, really digging their fingers in, then slapping them, sending ripples through her soft, yielding flesh, then they’re twisting and pulling at her nipples, and she’s letting out these high-pitched gasps that are somewhere between pleasure and total fucking ecstasy—
> you hurtin urself?
Suggestions and appreciative comments only!
> tunr round
That was an order, not a suggestion. Shut up and watch, or I’ll stop.
Fuck, I was enjoying that, and now I’ve missed nerdy girl getting her leggings pulled off. I think I’ll give her a skirt and thick tights in the story, it’s more nerdy. And the arm-holding guys are naked now! When did that happen? That sort of continuity gap takes me right out of a story. I should have all the men start naked. That would simplify things, and it’s another niche to market to: hashtag CFNM.
I don’t hear any message pings while I’m taking my pyjama trousers off, so my neighbour has obviously learnt the consequences of complaining if I block his view of the video, which is drawn curtains.
Nerdy girl’s knickers go next, but they leave her socks on, which is a nice touch and definitely making it into the story, so the tights are out again. I’m not wearing knickers, or socks, and I’m certainly not going to lift my legs as high as two of the guys lift nerdy girl’s, but I can spread just as wide.
I’ll put the laptop between my feet first, though, so my neighbour can still see it. One day I might switch the webcam on, but this is not that day. He’ll have to settle for whatever tiny reflection he can make out.
Oh, no! No, no, no. Black t-shirt guy has just thumbed nerdy girl’s lips apart and dived right in, like he’s starving and she’s hidden his lunch up there. I mean, he was never going to be gentle and seductive, but he could have started with fingers. I’ve only got fingers.
I’ll have him stroking, and pinching, tugging gently on her labia, teasing her clit… oh yeah. That way it won’t matter that four of the guys are holding her arms and legs, spread-eagling her, because black t-shirt is tormenting her with pleasure and in my mind that puts restraint on the right side of the non-con line. Barely, but it is there, and the closer to the line, the sweeter the story.
